"What Script are you Reading in your Life?"

It may sometimes feel like a curse; we are told to feel our feelings, practice self care, and then we will get an intimate connection. It is hard in this busy world to find the balance of appropriately feeling our feelings, self care, self nurturing, caring for others. We as females have been stereotyped as the one who takes care of everyone else before we take care of ourselves. Yet when we ride on an airplane they tell us if the oxygen mask drops in front of us, put it on yourself before you put it on your child. Wouldn’t it be instinct to take care of your child first…confusing isn’t it? And now we are drifting further and further off into a world of technology where it is so very easy to disconnect and live in our own bubble. Tune out the world by plopping down in front of a computer, chat on the phone for hours about nothing important… who needs to connect in a world of disconnection. Yet we crave connection so much, we run out of fuel, burn out on relationships, push ourselves to the edge; we are desperate for a quiet moment to nurture ourselves or be nurtured by another. An intimate moment where our loved one just looks at us in the eye and we both melt feeling the swelling of our feelings as we connect heart to heart. It is a lovely synergy when it happens. But are we carving out the time for such moments? Are we making our hearts open and ready for a moment with a loved one? Are we nurturing ourselves, filling ourselves up so that we even have something, anything to give?

It is my belief that these intimate moments of connection with our loved ones only happen when we have been nurturing our selves, feeding our souls, and expressing our feelings in a direct and compassionate manner. This sounds so easy yet it is so complicated when we consider the other messages we have been told over our lifetimes… What are your scripts? Did you mom, dad, siblings, teachers tell you something that redirected your life. Such as the spoken or unspoken script of

• Your not good enough
• You are not pretty enough
• You should never become a writer, musician, artist, or a mother
• Never express anger
• Make excuses for yourself
• Blame your partner, parents, or a friend
• There are thousands of scripts that we have taken on and are living out. We have to become aware of what they are and challenge ourselves to live our lives putting ourselves first. Be in the present moment, give ourselves permission to be average, choose an open heart, and practice good self-care.

Maybe this is a new thought for you so I will give you some pointers my clients have had success with. First and foremost I believe in the body and mind connection. If you are depressed or anxious you are not grounded within your body. This means you are probably not breathing as fully as you need to be. If you are not allowing the appropriate amount of oxygen into your body then you are probably not feeling very alive. Hence the idea, the more you breath, the more you feel, the more alive you feel.

This is why yoga is such a powerful tool for relaxation. People leave yoga feeling more in their body, breathing more fully, therefore, feeling more alive.
So if you feel inspired here is my homework for you.

• Practice breathing all the way into your belly. Lie down, somewhere comfortable, put your knees up in the air so your feet are flat on the ground, put your hands on your belly, and breathe. At first just be aware of you natural breathing pattern. Then focus on taking in as much oxygen as possible, filling up your belly like a balloon. When you are ready, breathe out, exhaling all the oxygen you can. If you really push you can breathe all the way out until you cough. This is optimal. Also, allowing sound to come on the exhale will release tension with in the body. Breathe in and out like this three to five times and then relax, notice how this exercise has impacted you and your body. Spend 15 minutes breathing in this exaggerated manner. I would encourage you to have a breathing journal to jot down your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and body tensions before and after you do this exercise.
• Get regular massages; this is an investment in you. If you are struggling with money look for the local massage schools -- they always have great rates so their students can get in hours.
• Join a yoga class.
• Find a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist (CBT). This is a therapist focused in the body mind connection.

These are just some starter tips to begin getting you to take care of yourself. You are deserving of this regardless of what scripts you have been told over the years. Challenge your self and your scripts…Go for it… Take a risk!

I believe if you begin this journey of nurturing your self you will begin to be more aware of your heart and feel more capable of coping with the everyday life crisis. As you are coping better in your life and taking good care of yourself, I believe you will then be able to say in a more direct and compassionate way how you feel and request your needs and wants. When all of this is in alignment I believe you will have more intimate moments with your loved ones, feeling more connected, your soul fed, and your body fully ALIVE!

Katrena Hart MS, LPC, CP, PAT, CBT
www.katrenahart.com

Katrena is a private practice psychotherapist in Allen Texas. She is a Certified Bioenergetic therapist, a psychodrama trainer, and the executive director of
Bridging Harts Psychodrama Training Institute. Katrena specializes in women’s issues, couples therapy, and teens.
Katrena offers workshops and trainings combining the methods of Psychodrama and Bioenergetics.

Read Past Articles:

Read previous articles:

August 2006 - Got the blues and don't know what to do?
June 2006 - Are you co-dependent or interdependent in your relationship?
March 2006 - Abusive Relationship? Top 10 Q & A you should know
February 2006 - Valentine's Day- Gifts on a Budget
January 2006 - New Year, New Beginnings
December 2005 - A Metamorphose and Christmas
November 2005-Are you ready to invite your mate to Thanksgiving Dinner?
October 2005 - Are You Independent?
September 2005 - "How to Attract Abundance"
August 2005 - Storms of Life
July 2005 - What Script are you Reading in your Life?
June 2005 - Perserverance

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