What do you do when your boyfriend or girlfriend just wants
to be friends? What happened?! Can I be just his or her friend? Is this the right
choice? These are just some questions you may have asked yourself.
What do you do?
There are a few options:
- You can attempt to be just the person's friend and talk to them
occasionally. You may even go out with them "as friends" from
time to time. Can this work? Chances are not but for some it's worth
trying because
maybe you will be one of the few that can handle this situation. However,
if you are holding on with the hopes of getting back together then
you could be setting yourself up for lots of pain. I have seen this
happen
time and time again.
- You can separate for awhile and eventually accept
being "just
friends" again. This I think is the best solution. This means
not talking on the phone or seeing each other. You may find that the
person
that broke up with you wants to still talk to you and see you. However,
this will not help you "let go." You could also find yourself
hoping that the person who broke up with you will change his/her mind.
This is why it's so important to tell the person that you cannot talk
to him/her for awhile. If the person gets upset...oh well. You need
to take care of yourself.
- You may never want to be friends because
you are very hurt and angry. This is normal and to be expected for
some. Is it wrong? Hopefully,
you can learn to forgive the other person and respect his/her decision.
Would
you want the person to stay with you knowing his/her feelings have
changed? Probably not. It does hurt and it is hard when someone breaks
up with
you. Time will heal the pain.
Each of you will handle it differently. You have to find the
best way for you. If friends don't agree with how you handle it, that's
okay.
They have a right to care and to voice their opinion. Sometimes
you have to go through it yourself and learn the hard way. It's
part
of life...
Remember, people around you care but they also need to respect
your ultimate decision on how you want to handle your break up.
Take care and enjoy each relationship that comes your way!
Dr. Nina
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