Ask Nina Now

Got the Blues and don’t know what to do?

A friend of mine called me and told me her life seemed “dull and boring.” If I told you about her background and all that she has, you would probably wonder why she said this. Have you ever felt this way?

We all hit low points in our lives where nothing seems to be going right. We may not have that perfect job. We may not have that perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. We may not even have a significant other to share our free time with. Can you relate to this?

What do you do to get out of this place of discouragement and into a place of contentment?

It’s all about reframing your situation It’s looking at your life through another lense that is “positive” and not so “negative.” It’s not about forgetting the struggles but looking at them differently.

Here’s an example: You and your girlfriend are doing okay but the spark that was once there isn’t right now, which makes you feel disappointed. Your job is okay but you dream of doing something different. Life just seems “blah.”

Now, lets “reframe” the example given above: You and your girlfriend may be doing “just okay” BUT you are not fighting or upset with one another, which is good. You are probably at a place in your relationship where you are both really comfortable with each other and can talk about almost anything. The initial spark that was once there at the beginning can be started again. Just get creative and have some fun!

Your job may seem “just okay” but at least you have a job where you are getting paid. You probably have cultivated new friendships at work and this helps make your job more enjoyable. It may not be your dream job but there are probably many benefits you get from working there. Try and find the high points. Also, take steps to follow your dream too!

Reframing is about looking at the good even when it’s difficult. It’s about changing your lense to a positive one instead of a negative one. Your thoughts will determine your attitude and how you view and act out in your life.

We all go through pitfalls in life. What’s important is that we know how to get out of them. If you keep a positive attitude, then you will be able to persevere even through the difficult times. Try this approach. Start learning to “reframe” your situation. Look for the positive and see how this new attitude impacts your life.

 

Dr. Nina